On the Mend
by jackie1991
Summary: Leah Clearwater is bitter. She's sad, angry and alone. A genetic dead-end shape-shifting female with nothing left to strive for in her currently miserable life. Can she sort through her problems and come to terms with everything that's happened in her life? Or will she need help from a certain pack member to help her pull through? *Title may change, M for Language and citrus.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N – Hey all, I don't like leaving long A/N's for my readers, so I'll make it as short and quick as I can. **

**This is my first Twilight Fanfic, so go easy on me and let me know what you think. I'm a wolf-girl at heart, and a Bella-hater by nature. She will get hardly any page time in this Fic, but you can guarantee it won't be pleasant. **

**This idea came to me a few weeks ago on a night shift at the Hospital. I was on my break and BAM story idea popped up and I had to put pen to paper… or fingers to keyboard I guess. **

**So let me know what you thing of the first chap. There's no real revelation on the story-line and plot in this first chapter, just setting up Leah's persona.**

**Hope you enjoy, and don't forget to review!**

**DISCLAIMER: I am not Stephanie Meyer, and do not own any recognisable characters in this story. The plot is my own with some of the timeline and themes from SM's Twilight Saga.**

**Summary:**

Leah Clearwater is bitter. She's sad, angry and alone. A genetic dead-end shape-shifting female with nothing left to strive for in her currently miserable life. Can she sort through her problems and come to terms with everything that's happened in her life? Or will she need help from a certain pack member to help her pull through?

Leah sat at the edge of the cliffs, her arms wrapped around her knees, which were currently tucked under her chin. She sighed and stared at the ocean spread out below her. _Nature,_ she pondered to herself, _was so simplistic, in an uncomplicated complicated kind of way. _There was no "um-ing" or "ah-ing" over which way a current was going to flow, or what trend the winds were going to whip through the forests surrounding her. It just simply happened.

Leah wished her life was as uncomplicated yet complicated in that way. Where there was no pain or emotions. No actual memories to remember all that had gone wrong and hurt her in her mostly miserable twenty-two years of life. _Well, mostly the last three years, if I'm going to try and be honest with myself, and sort through this shit storm of a life. _

Hi. I'm Le- wait… weren't these things supposed to start with "Dear Diary" or something along those lines? Too late now I guess, seeing as I've already started. God I'm gonna kill Seth. Why did he have to be right all the time? Okay okay, let me start again…

_Dear Diary_

Hello Diary. My name is Leah. Leah Clearwater. I'm gonna be honest with you straight up, Seth made me do this. That's my brother… such a happy-go-lucky kid… honestly, I don't know where he gets his energy from… it's like he's on a neve ending sugar high. Nothing ever upsets that kid. Especially since we wolfed out a few years back. That made it even worse. Oh lord I'm losing focus already.

Ok so, basically, Seth thought it would be a good idea to write this stuff down and come to terms with the shit that's been going down the last few years so that I can stop being, and I quote, a stuck up bitch with a pole stuck far so up my ass you can see the top of the pole poking through the top of my head. I mean, what's that about? What the fuck! I am so not stuck up. I'll admit to the bitch part, coz, well, I technically am, you know. A bitch. A female dog… well, wolf, but that's of the canine species, so it counts.

It all started three years ago I guess. With Samuel. Fucking. Uley. God it pisses me off just writing his name… I seriously don't see how this is supposed to help. I mean, the only reason I even said yes was coz I knew I had to do something about my attitude, it was just unnatural for me to be so hung up on something for this long… well lots of somethings, but anyway. And the reason I agreed is coz the only other way for dealing with this shit is by talking to a "professional", and we all know that is so not happening. Could you imagine telling your therapist that my fiancé left me because a bunch of vampires moved in down the road, causing him to wolf out and then imprint on my cousin and ex-best friend Emily fucking Young? And to top it off, I caused my own father's heart attack, and ultimately his death, by sneaking him bacon every other Sunday and then wolfing out in front of him as well… like, there's never been a female wolf ever recorded in tribal history. Which is what shocked him. See, coz Dad used to be on the Tribal council, so he knew about the wolves. Then we were arguing over bacon one day – Ironic, yes? – and I just lost my shit and BAM! Werewolf/shifter girl kills her father. To top it off, I have to see Sam and Emily in my head EVERY FUCKING DAY, and I found out that Sam could have just been Em's friend. That it was her choice… but she had apparently always wanted him for herself and then she chose him… of course I had been the one to find him balls deep in her in my fathers shed. Like seriously? Who does that?!

But wait, there's more!

Oh yes, the fun train that is my life doesn't stop there folks. Since shifting, dear old Mother Nature has stopped visiting me every month. I'm a genetic dead end, twenty-two year old, one and only female wolf shifter of my kind, and I can never have children. I mean, I never really had the desire for them to begin with, what with the drooling and poop and lack of sleep and whatnot, but at least it had been a possibility, that it was there if I ever changed my mind. Now it's an impossibility. I mean, why would the Great Spirits have made me the first female wolf ever if I couldn't carry the gene on? Like, seriously, what the fuck!

Anyway, that's the reason, or they are the reasons, that I'm such a stuck up bitch and no one wants to be my friend. My pack brothers constantly tease me, tell me they hate me, and always groan and moan whenever I'm around or I phase in for a shift of "Protecting the tribe" by running endless circles patrolling the Rez to keep it safe from glittering bloodsucking leeches. Yep. Vampires are real. They glitter in the sun. They don't sleep. Garlic, holy water and religious artefacts do nothing to them. When Sam first told me about them my first reaction – and it's still the reaction I get to this day - was to question what god had created pansy-ass, glittering bloodsucking vampires to exist. It just makes no sense! Ann Rice and Charlene Harris have it all down with bad-ass vamps! Not that I like them as it is, but if they were going to exist, at least make them cool!

Ugh. Look at me. Talking about fucking leeches. This shit is getting old. It's only been five minutes. Why did I let my brother talk me into this? Maybe if I just write random make-believe stories up instead? That way I can just show Seth I've been writing by fanning through the book quickly without him reading it. Yeah, that ought to work.

_Once upon a time, there was a little Princess names Leila. Leila was a happy little girl with a new baby brother and the best Mummy and Daddy in the world. She had two best friends Rach- erm… Rochelle and Renata, who she was home-schooled with. They all grew up happily, Leila's Daddy stayed alive, and her best friends Mummy didn't get killed in an unfortunate carriage and explosive accident… They all fell in love with charming Princes and lived happily ever after. The end._

... if only.

Leah sighed and closed her journal. It wasn't going to work, this writing business. Best to just maybe think about it all instead. Go over in detail every agonising event in her life that's led her to the here and now.

So, the only question she had to ask herself for the time being was, at what point in her life did she need to start from in order to work through her problems?

**Thanks for reading! Please follow and review to let me know what you think so far! **

**Cheers, **

**Jackie x**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N**

**Please note, the title of this story has been changed from "Leah's Story" to "On the Mend". I apologise for any confusion.**

**I'm hoping to have more in a few days time, possibly a few weeks. A regular updating schedule will not be set. This is purely a hobby that I work on when I have free time, but if I get follows and reviews, it encourages me to find more spare time to write more chapters for you.**

**Also, I changed Bella's middle name from Marie to Mary, simply because my middle name is Marie and I don't really like having anything in common with the whiny character.**

_**-Jackie xo**_

**Chapter Two**

_**Last time…**_

_Leah sighed and closed her journal. It wasn't going to work, this writing business. Best to just maybe think about it all instead. Go over in detail every agonising event in her life that's led her to the here and now. _

_So, the only question she had to ask herself for the time being was, at what point in her life did she need to start from in order to work through her problems?_

Perhaps I ought to start with Sam. That's where most of my problems stemmed from, wasn't it? Well, mostly that annoying bitch that Jake was so in love with. Isabella Mary Swan… goddamn attention seeker if you ask me. Seriously, if she hadn't moved to Forks to live with her dad, none of this would have happened. The Cullen's would have left, the wolves wouldn't have shifted, Sam would not have imprinted on my fucking cousin, and we would probably be married in that cutesy little house they now live in. Dad would be alive. I would still be able to have children. Selfish cow fucked my life up for a dead bloodsucking body.

Anyway… Back to Sam.

So, for as long as I could remember, I'd been in love with Sam. We got together in high school. He was a senior, an entire two years older than me. But gosh, what a heartthrob! The entire female population of Forks and La Push knew who Sam Uley was. I'd sat and idolised over him with my two best friends, Rachel and Rebecca Black, since I was eight. Seven years. Seven years of wishing before Sam took any notice in me. All I was confused of was why it had taken him so damn long. I was Leah Fucking Clearwater after all. I was the hottest thing in school. Everyone knew it. Even Sam's friends Paul Lahote and Jared Cameron noticed me before Sam. I never gave them the time of day, but I flirted like crazy with them in hopes to catch Sam's eyes. And then he finally saw me, and never looked back.

I had loved Sam with all my heart. We were inseparable. Joined at the hip. Where one went, the other followed. I lost my virginity to Sam at the three-month mark. It hurt like hell, but it was Sam, and I could not have been happier, especially when the sex got better. The only thing that really annoyed me was that he used to promptly fall asleep and snore his head off straight after. But I put it down to the fact that he was in senior year, he was on the football and hockey team, and he was going through a slight growth spurt. I used to console myself by thinking that he needed sleep to be able to keep on top of everything. Boy was I wrong. Apparently, he still does it. And he's now a supernatural Spirit Warrior with access to pretty much unlimited energy.

Then came the fateful day where it all came to a sudden halt. Two weeks after coming back from his sudden disappearance, and one week after proposing to me, I was finally lost to Sam. The inevitable had happened; my fairy tale was coming to an end.

It was a blearily cold day, as it usually is in La Push, Washington. My cousin and best friend Emily Young had come down from the Makah Reservation to help me start planning my dream wedding; Sam and I didn't want to wait, and I could barely contain my excitement to finally become Mrs Samuel Uley. Em was going to be my maid of honour, as best friends always should be. But you can imagine my surprise upon coming home from the store one day, to find Sam, balls deep in Emily, going at it on the workbench in my now deceased fathers tool shed. Who does that? Seriously.

My heart was shattered. I know now that there was little to nothing that I could have done to stop it from happening. The worst thing was that my father, who was part of our Tribal Counsel and in on the know-how of the tribes shifter secret, wasn't as saddened as he should have been. Sure, he was angry at first (they had had sex on his work bench after all), but after being told about the imprinting, he wasn't as upset as a father should be when his future son-in-law walks away from his daughter, his princess, as he had always called me, for her best friend and cousin… his own niece. Mum and Seth were furious, and they still are to this day. But the small fragments of my heart that was left disintegrated when he supported their relationship. (Or as I like to call it, their lies, betrayal and deceit.)

But of course, no one took much pity on me. They were the perfect couple. They fit each other so well. Especially after the "bear attack" Emily had suffered from. _Poor Emily._ (Note the sarcasm.) Of course, I now know that it was actually Sam who had given her the ugly scars that mark the right side of her face. He had gotten upset when Emily had confronted him about the imprinting. She had told him that he had to choose her over me, because she was his imprint and that's what she wanted. Sam, of course, lost his shit. He got so angry and sad that he shifted too close to her, resulting in four lines of claw marks starting from the tip of her forehead, down her right arm in a curve to the centre of a stomach. Serves them right.

Sam was beside himself when she almost died from blood loss. He had rushed her straight to the hospital, and they were able to save her in the nick of time. With his own wolf blood being a match, Sam was able to donate about three pints of blood over the course of two days to save her life. Inevitably, she forgave him. He hasn't stopped apologising to her, and it's been three years. Ugh, seriously. Enough was enough, right?

The worst thing about it was that I had to see it in Sam's thoughts almost every day. It made getting over him harder than necessary. Mostly because he still actually loved me. He'd be sad about loosing me one moment, and then go right on to thinking about Emily sprawled under him mid coitus the next second. It was disgusting. Made my skin crawl just thinking about them together.

It also doesn't help when said wench was always flaunting her victory of snagging Sam from me under my nose, and then going on a sob rant about losing her best friend, and wanting me back in her life. Like that was going to fucking happen.

God all this memory shit was so depressing. Did I mention how much I want to kill my little brother right now? It's painful, and I don't like it one bit! But he's right, no matter how much hate I throw at him, I have to do this. I have to work though everything and then leave it all behind. I suppose that's why he suggested the writing, so that I got it all out and then didn't have to worry about it any more. Having it all on paper made it real, but a distant memory, part of my past.

I suppose I can't really blame Sam though, as much as I want to put it on him, it's not his fault he turned into a wolf. Then the spirits pointed their finger at Emily and that was it. What she wanted she got. And I suppose he did fight it in the beginning, hence the scars from the argument Emily put them through. Something about her being his, and having to do what she said, and blah blah blah.

Maybe I could just blame Emily for everything? Now there was a stuck up bitch, if ever I did see one.

Why my father had to support those two I don't know. I mean, I guess he believed in the spirits of our ancestors, and maybe because it was all tribal legend-y stuff, it made him believe that it was the right thing. Sure his daughter was hurt, but she would get over it eventually. UGH! Her father had every right to support the imprint, and in time she knew she would too. But for him to accept it so quickly after Sam and I were engaged? Wrong. So very wrong.

"Leah?" A familiar voice startled me out of my thinking. It was very rare that someone caught me off-guard. I looked up to see Jared staring down at me, a strange look in his eyes… concern maybe? That couldn't be right… none of the guys cared about me… I may as well go die in a hole for all they cared. What, with my constant nagging, bitchiness, and whining. "Leah, are you… are you _crying_?"

"What?! No, just, you know, dust or, some piece of Mother Nature in my fucking eyes. God damned wind…" I quickly wiped under my eyes and stood up, brushing the dirt from the back of my shorts.

"But I could have sworn I saw-"

"Nothing, you saw abso-fucking-lutely nothing. Ya hear me Jared? NOTHING!" I quickly cut him off and upped my bitchiness.

He looked at me quizzically before answering. "Riight… Nothing." He looked at our surroundings briefly before turning back to face me. "What are you doing all the way up here anyway?"

"None of your fucking business, that's what." What the hell did he care what I did in my spare time anyway?

He put his hands up defensively and backed up a little. "All right, sorry I asked. Geez." I narrowed my eyes at him, his rolled in response. "Anyway, gotta head off, Kim's expecting me soon." His eyes lit up and he got that sick, dreamy 'I'm in imprint heaven' look that the boys always got when their other halves here mentioned. I was moments away from puking.

"Yeah whatever, I'm going home." I don't think he heard me. He just nodded and set off on a quick jog towards Kim's house. Whatever. I started making my way back home, pondering the first brain picking session and deemed it a minor success. Sure I hadn't really used the diary, but I'd just tell Seth to shove it when he asked.

I made quick work of my walk home. Mum was still at work, and Seth was probably still hanging out with Quil, Jake and Embry, doing whatever. I didn't care. I headed to the shower, grabbing a cookie on my way up to my bedroom. I wanted to just get out and forget about the day.

As I showered and got ready to paint Seattle red, I pondered my thoughts from earlier this morning. I suppose I could start to slowly forgive Sam for everything now. It wasn't his fault, and he was my Alpha… until Jake took over anyway, but he was still pack, and, as much as I wanted to, I couldn't go on hating him for the rest of our unnaturally long canine lives. It wouldn't be right, I suppose, and I guess I didn't have to like forgiving him. But I could. That's what mum wanted me to do, what Seth and the rest of the pack wanted from me. To stop being such a bitch and just get over it. Because they were all right. It was the past, and we can't change what's happened. All we can do is face the problem and say, I'm not ok with this, but it's the past and we need to move on.

Shit I'm getting soft. But it's the truth isn't it? I sighed and looked at my reflection. _Not bad Clearwater, not bad at all._ I was wearing a bright red strapless dress that came to mid thigh. It was fitted in the bust, boarded in sequins, and flowed down in soft silk and chiffon waves to my thighs. There wasn't much to it, due to my height, but that was the point, wasn't it? I also had on tall silver stiletto heels with a criss-cross pattern covering the tops of my feet. My hair, as usual, was down, due to its short length, but I'd added in some light curls that were sure to disappear within a half hour of entering the club tonight. My make-up was light, mascara, eyeliner and a smudge of gloss. I had my werewolf genes to thank for my naturally flawless skin. I grabbed a small silver clutch, chucked the essentials in and I was ready to go.

I made my way downstairs, discovering that whilst I was getting ready, the entire pack decided it would be fun to crash in my living room. Whatever, it's not like I was expecting to be home early or anything. I needed a distraction tonight, and I planned on getting it. I finished making my way downstairs and decided to have a glass of water before heading out. I got a glass from the cabinets over the sink and filled it. It got quiet. Real quiet. I turned around and saw every single one of the boys turned in my direction with their mouths wide open.

I raised an eyebrow at them. "What, never seen a girl in a dress before?" No response. I shrugged, finished my water, and turned to leave. Next thing I know Seth is in front of me blocking my way to freedom. "Move it Seth!"

"Leah what the hell? Where are you going dressed like that? Where the hell is the rest of your dress? Why do you have to be so embarrassing?!" He was trying to cover me up from the eyes of our pack members. I just rolled my eyes.

"Honestly Seth, it's not the shortest dress I own. Besides, the guys have all seen me naked, and really, this is more than I usually wear anyway. I don't know why you're complaining… the guys don't seem to care."

"Leah, the guys are gonna all add this to their own personal spank banks… Sam included. I don't care what you say, you aren't leaving the house dressed like that!" I scrunched my nose up at him. As if they would add the sight of me in a dress to their collection of 'getting-off' material.

"Like I care. MOVE" I shoved him aside and bolted out the door towards my car. I clambered in and was out the driveway before he could recover from my escape. Seattle, here I come!

It was a long drive, but I left early afternoon, planning to check into a hotel room before making my way to the club. I'd packed a small overnight bag earlier today with a change of clothes and toiletries. I refused to do the walk of shame.

I finally made it to the hotel, which was only a few streets away from the club I intended to go to. The room was decent, but I didn't care about that. As long as there was a bed and hot running water, I was good to go. I re-did my eyeliner and gloss, spritzed some perfume and I was on my way to the nightclub.

It was packed when I got there. Plenty of attractive men to pray – I mean, choose from. I ordered a drink and then sat back to observe. The staff behind the bar worked efficiently to serve the waiting partygoers, the dance-floor throbbed in time with the music, people swaying side to side, all but having sex right there for everyone to see. In was perfect. I finished my drink quickly and made my way into the throng of people, finding a spot in the middle of the dance-floor. I swayed my hips and jumped in time with the music, letting myself go for the first time in months.

I danced and made out with both men and women, I drank way more than the human body could tolerate, only getting a slight buzz from the copious amounts of alcohol burning through my systems. I danced. I seduced. I drank. God it felt amazing. It was coming towards closing time, and the guy I'd been eyeing off all night finally made his move. He slowly stalked me from his spot on the wall, his mates cheering him on in a show of support. I smiled at him, continuing to sway and bob with the music, not breaking eye contact with him as he walked closer. He stopped just short of me and smiled.

"Took you long enough." I said, coming to a stop as the song changed.

"You looked like you were having enough fun without me, I didn't want to bother you."

"A girl's gotta get her kicks somehow, right?"

"Dance?" I nodded my assent. He stepped closer, his hands slipped to my waist at the same time that my own travelled from his chest to rest on his shoulders. Damn but he was built well underneath his clothes.

"Who are you, Superman? Damn boy but you have muscles." He just chuckled at me and pulled me closer to his body. Oh boy.

We swayed and bobbed slowly, not worrying about the time or rhythm of the music. As each minute passed, the atmosphere became hotter and heavier, to the point where I was seriously considering jumping him in the middle of the dance floor. Luckily for our fellow party-goes, I had more class than that, and instead decided to drag him back to my hotel room.

We walked silently, hand in hand, the tension thick between us. It had been so long since I was last with someone… well, that last someone was Sam, and that was a year ago. An entire year. 12 months. 52 weeks. 365 days! I was more than ready to get my fix. We walked into the lobby and stepped into the elevator. We were on each other before the doors could slide closed. God was he a good kisser. There was lips, tongue and teeth. Hot and heavy. Hands in hair, squeezing shoulders, a deliciously taught backside. God dammit I wanted him, and I wanted him now.

He smashed me against the back wall of the elevator. I moaned and pulled him closer to me, panting, grabbing, bitting. Lord I was in heaven. The elevator dinged, and I led him out into the hallway, still holding onto him as if my life depended on it. I fumbled with my room key, finally managing to get it open after what felt like hours, and we stumbled in together. The door shut. I was shoved against the wall. And then it turned feral. We somehow made it to the bed, and somehow my dress came off without being torn apart. I'm pretty sure I tore a few of his buttons off of his shirt. And I'm pretty sure he'd laughed at that. He'd started making his way down my body, figuring that we were going for foreplay before the main event, but I was having none of that.

"Don't bother, I'm more than ready for you. We can do that later. I just need you to start fucking me senseless or I'm going to lose my mind." His smile turned into a feral grin and before I knew it, we were giving the bedsprings a test of their durability.

It was fast, feral and furious. I came harder than I ever had before. Then there was a round two, three and four. All in different positions, some slow, some fast. On the bed, on the couch, in the shower, against the wall. I lost count. Time lost meaning, it was just thrust after thrust, orgasm after orgasm. By the time we finished, the sun was coming up, and we were both drifting off to sleep, curled in each other's arms.

Now, don't get me wrong. This was definitely a one-night stand, with a possibility of a repeat on future Seattle visits, but I couldn't help but feel saddened that I would be driving home later this afternoon. I liked the feel of being in someone's arms, and I realised that I missed this. I missed being made to feel special and girly and important. Safe and protected. Hell, I didn't even know his name! We'd been too busy screwing each other's brains out to even talk or exchange names. I decided I'd just find out after having a little nap…

The next thing I knew, I was waking up to the sight of his edible backside disappearing under his jeans. I frowned. He was walking out on me?

"Leaving so soon?" I asked. He startled at my voice and fell into a tangled mess off limbs and jeans. I giggled. He frowned playfully.

"Don't scare me like that." He chided.

"Whatcha gonna do about it?" He smirked.

"I have a few ideas in mind." I returned his smirk and stretched myself out. God I felt good! I was so relaxed; I could sleep here all day. His eyes darkened as he scanned my body, laid out for his eyes to feast upon. Which they did.

"Don't tempt me woman! I'd be more than happy to stay here and fuck you all day, but I gotta earn a living somehow."

"You were going to sneak out weren't you?"

"Yes and no… I was going to leave you a note with my name and number… I have a conference meeting this afternoon, and I still need to get home to grab my notes. Plus, I think I need a new shirt; a little wild cat almost tore mine to shreds last night." He grinned at me. I frowned. His grin slipped. "What did I say?"

"No, it's not… well, I just don't like cats. Strange I know but… I prefer the canine species more than the feline." I scrunched my nose up at the thought of owning a cat. My wolf agreed whole-heartedly with me.

He smiled and stalked over to me. I sat up, letting the sheet fall to my waist. His eyes devoured me again for a few minutes, letting me know exactly what he wished he was doing. "I'm really sorry that I have to leave so quickly. If you give me your number, can I call you for an official date?"

My face turned solemn. "I actually don't live anywhere near here. I drove here yesterday from La Push. It's a small Indian Reservation an hour and a half from Port Angeles. Very rarely do I get time to drive into Seattle. I'm sorry… I should have made myself clear that this was really only going to be a once in a blue moon thing."

"Hmm, well, once in a blue moon is a better answer than never, isn't it?" Bless him he was so hopeful… how could I say no to him? I finally gave in and gave him my number. He paused and looked up bashfully. "Um, so, we haven't really introduced ourselves properly yet… haha" I smiled at him.

"Leah Clearwater."

"Daniel Hunter."

We exchanged numbers. I got up, wrapped a sheet around me, and walked him to the door.

"Well, I had a fantastic night, it was a pleasure to meet you, Mon Cherie." I blushed a little and smiled. He leaned down and gave me a most satisfyingly breathtaking goodbye kiss. "Until next time" He winked, and then he was gone.

I sighed. The night of fun and pleasure was over.

It was time to head back to reality.


End file.
